Seven

We have a new Pastor. Well, kind of new, he has been here almost a year. His greatest gift (in my opinion) is his zeal for the Word. He gets you so exicted to read your bible. And he is SO passionate about you not only reading it, but understanding what you are reading. I have gone from reading my bible in a year every year, to spending weeks on a passage or verse, months on one book or a few chapters. He has taught us to notice numbers, certain words, phrases, that key in on something deeper, or that accent a passage to help you understand more. It’s amazing how on fire our members have been, from young kids to 80+ year old members, so excited to dig in and learn.

Seven is the number of completion in the Bible. I’ve always known that. Never thought it would be a theme in my life. But here we are.

If you have met the last baby of our brood, you would describe her as JOY. I don’t know of any other human that meets the standard of that word more than her. She is full of joy. She has joy pouring out of her little body any time you are around her. Every one, and I do mean every one, wants to take her home with them. She is stubborn, WIDE open, busy, oh so hyper, silly, sweet, sassy, all of the things, but in and above it all, she is joy.

I didn’t have much joy when I realized that she was going to be mine forever. I love her, don’t get me wrong, I am crazy about her. But she wasn’t in my plan. It’s taken me a long time to find that joy, I think even as I type, that this may be the reason for this blog post, because I just finally have not only accepted, but embraced that she is mine. Without spilling too much of her story (it’s not mine to share), she came here because we parented her parent for a very long season. We took her under the impression that she was kinda our “grandbaby” and we would step in while said parent stepped up. But then that didn’t happen. And this mama who was SO OVER parenting, at FORTY FOUR years of age, had a baby again. To say I have struggled with that is an understatement.

It’s funny how God reveals stuff slowly to you. Maybe it’s just me, but I feel like He knows I can only handle so much info at one time, so He leads me slowly, and gives me bits very slowly. I need time to mull over things. To pout, to fuss, and then to give up and accept. This weekend I RELUCTANTLY decided to potty train her. Not because she wasn’t ready, or because I wasn’t capable. Because I didn’t wanna do it. I have parented so much more than I ever planned. There are days I don’t wanna be touched, talked to, even days I feel that I don’t wanna hear the word “mama” ever again. I am tired. But, we did it. We stuck some panties on her and we did it. God knew how tired I was, because she acts like she has been potty trained all her life. She had a few accidents, but about thirty successes. Woke up the next morning like it was nothing, straight to the potty, no accidents. She also moved into a toddler bed. Laid down in that thing like she had slept in it every day of her life. And you know what? I watched her on that monitor SO SAD!!!!!! She is my baby. M very last baby. And you know what God whispered to my heart while I was watching that monitor wondering what this sadness was? SEVEN. She is number seven. She is the completion of the Rhyne crew.

What a gift He gave us. Pure joy. To end our foster care journey. To step into our forever family. He gave us joy. I never had that sadness when any of the others moved to toddler beds, got potty trained, went to preschool, none of it. I was an emotional disaster Kinnley’s first day of school. Pretty sure other than that I have handled most things pretty nonchalantly(other than Kinn going to college and Tate getting married- those are for another day HAHA). I finally get what everyone says about “the baby”. I thought I had “the baby” when Parker was born. Then again when we got Dillon, then again with Fia. LOL, God has a sense of humor. So here we are. With seven children. She is THE baby.

I don’t find my identity in being a mom. I never have. I am not a great mom. I think I do okay, LOL, but I am breaking some generational curses over here too, and that gets messy some days. I am however, so grateful that God has allowed me to parent such incredible humans. Every time I look at Kinnley, Tatum and Parker I am amazed that we made it. That they are adults. My tiny little girl tribe is all grown up. And they are wonderful people. I would like them even if they weren’t mine. How gracious is God to give me another batch. To give me another chance to clean it up, to show Him a little more, to have different intentions. I hope my words never come across as having it all together, or all figured out. I don’t. If you are attracted to anything in our lives, I promise it’s not us, it’s God within us. He guides our steps, our days, our ins and outs. He gives me grace when I get it wrong, to start again the next day. And He gives my precious kiddos that grace too, they love me new each morning and I am so thankful for that.

Google says “the number seven is often associated with completeness, perfection, and fulfillment”. I can confidently say that God is done growing our family (through parenting), and it’s perfect for us, we feel that fulfillment. I have been done many times over the years, but He wasn’t. I know in the depths of my soul that I am now, and I know that knowledge is from Him. I am nervous about closing our home. We aren’t perfect, but we were a good foster home. Not many people foster, and even less adopt. The thoughts of their being one less of us in our area makes me nervous. But I know God is greater and He has a plan for that as well. For now, we are going to embrace the joy of Yana that He blessed us with. We also will embrace the peace of Ky, the patience of Sophia, and the gentlessness of Dillon. We see glimpses of Him in each of them and know as we all grow in this forever season we will see more and more.