I saw someone post on Facebook how social media affects everyone’s view on how it should be. Like we are all just constantly comparing ourselves to others. It got me to wondering what folks think about us. If you know me at all, that is not something that crosses my mind often. I am fortunate to not have a care in my bones about what other people think. If you know my daddy, he gave us a good Keller bloodline that is slam full of self esteem. I laugh all the time when Matthew or the kids catch me off guard in a picture. I am like woahhhh, that is NOT what I look like. I love me most days when I get ready and do that last look in the mirror. I always say that’s why I have trouble loosing weight. Most people have body issues when they loose weight, they see the bigger them in the mirror no matter what, I am the total opposite, now that I am thinking that outloud on paper, that’s probably not my best quality.

One of my favorite memories as a mom was when Kinnley was about 3. I was at my aunt’s house. She is ten years older than me, and my best friend on earth. She had three kids at the time, the youngest just a few months older than Kinnley. The two older boys were in the room playing with one of those old plastic phones that had the rotary dial, wheels and eyes that moved when you pulled it by the string across the floor. They were fighting tooth and nail over that toy. She said a few things, and they didn’t listen. All of a sudden she stood up, grabbed that toy, opened the front door and threw it right in the yard. I literally wanted to kiss her! I told her she had always been my role model, and of course this was still true with parenting, and so often I felt like I was failing because some days I just couldn’t not yell, and I just couldn’t be patient.

How often do we post the bad, the ugly, the rough. Are we posting what we “pose” to be? I just wanted to jump on and let you know that we Rhynes are a HOT mess over here. Dillon eats cereal four times a day. Tatum is the most spoiled person on earth, and thinks we are all just here to make her life great. Parker rarely comes out of her room, and Kinnley has one foot out the door. Matthew is a great husband, I am so so lucky there, but he is still a man, and he is so nice and silly with everyone else all the time, we usually get the grumpy him. And me, oh my me…lol. I yell, so loud I cannot believe the neighbors don’t call the law sometimes. I throw stuff. I totally stick my face in my phone and straight up ignore my kids. I don’t do laundry, at all. I hate cleaning and cooking. I am late for everything. I was my wedding and will be my funeral. And my worst flaw, I forget EVERYTHING. Ask my husband and kids. I remember nothing. Not conversations, play dates, birthday parties, church functions, dinner, to buy toilet paper. If we missed your party, your birthday, your baby shower, whatever your function may be, it’s because I forgot, and more than likely forgot to tell my family, so when you ask them about it, they are clueless. My friend Hannah knows this wonderful trait of mine, and when her kids have a party, she so kindly in the middle of her prepping for the party, calls me to remind me to come. I post the good of all of us, our happy times, our sad times, but rarely does the majority get to see the hard of things.

I just wanted to let you all know, in case my posts always seem like we have it together, we totally do not. We are just winging it. Like I think most of you are. My goal in life is not really to have it all together. I just want to live and love. I would love if my kids didn’t have to go to therapy as adults as a result of their childhood. I want people to know that we loved them, (even if we forgot to go to their parties), regardless of who they are, where they live, how they looked and most importantly to this Rhyne crew, what color their skin is.

If you are constantly comparing your life, your looks, or your lifestyle to others, let that burden go. God made you and yours EXACTLY how he wanted you to be. He made you in HIS image! What an amazing honor. I pray that as you scroll today. You just smile at others, and be thankful for who and where you are.

I did a month of daily posts on Facebook in May for foster care awareness. I enjoyed it so much. A few people learned a lot and enjoyed it too, and a few suggested I write a blog. I laughed, but in all honesty, I have always wanted to blog. I have so much to say about so many different things. So I signed up for one, and I have sat on it for almost two months, just wondering if I was crazy and just wasted my money. Then today happened.

I am very verbal about raising kids and how tiring that is. I remember Kinnley being little in the grocery store once having a full out toddler meltdown, and some older lady smiling at me saying “one day you will miss this, enjoy them when they are little”. That was the first of many times I have heard that since being a parent. I said to her, what I always say when people say this to me, NO, I will NOT miss this, I may miss her, and I may miss this season, but I will NOT miss this. She didn’t know how to respond to me, and most folks don’t, I kinda take that as a compliment. No one will ever convince me that I will miss those parts of parenting. It’s exhausting. They literally suck life out of you, you spend most of your day pouring yourself into them, and some days they give very little in return, especially when they are little. It’s funny how they can make you want to jump off a bridge sometimes, and then they fall asleep, and they are so freaking cute, you almost want to wake them up to play with them.

Crazy, that parenting thing…I wonder often if that’s how God feels about us, like does He watch us and think, today is the day they are going to do what I say, or do what I have taught, or notice what I have put in front of them, and then we don’t, and I wonder if He is exhausted with us, and then He looks at us in our quiet time, and thinks…Man how I love them. I know He knows what we are going to do, so probably not, but it is hard for me to imagine He doesn’t get annoyed with us…

Foster care is like that too, and adoption. I LOVE Dillon Rhyne, aka Dillon Pickle, if you read my Facebook posts. Some days she runs me ragged, just like all of them do. Sometimes more than others because she is a challenge all on her own to absolutely no fault of her own. Yesterday I told Matthew sometimes I wonder WHAT WERE WE THINKING!? We didn’t plan any of our girls, they were all surprises. Dillon, we literally chose, we willingly did this again, ON PURPOSE. Today I got reminded of why.

She is now old enough, and mature enough to go out of the nursery and into a Sunday school class. She has two teachers that are spectacular for that age group, and they amaze me with what she learns and talks about from class. Today they learned about kindness. They specifically talked about an older gentleman from our church (that I happen to adore), and how he was moving in with his son because he was older and needed someone to help him, they talked about having a special prayer for him. MY BABY, my sweet almost 3 year old wild, crazy, headstrong, beautiful little girl piped up and said “bring him to my mommy’s house, she will take care of him…..” she went on to throw in some toddler tales and jibberish, but y’all, SHE GETS IT!!!!! She knows that even though I am crass, and I say more than I should, and sometimes my filter is broken, and sometimes I am just flat out tired and ill as a hornet, I will take care of her, and of you, and of yours, and of theirs, because that is what this HOME does. WE LOVE, in the ugly, in the hard, in the middle of it all, we LOVE.

So when I am exhausted, and ready to throw it all away and lose my mind. I know that even in those times, they are still seeing the good times, and the purpose. We adults have a big task at hand raising these kids. We over complicate things. I don’t sit them down and talk to them about being a village. We don’t feel special, we don’t feel like we deserve an award, or even recognition for anything we do. This is just our life and the way we feel called to live it. We parents are always teaching, in all we say and do. And even in the mess of it all, and the poor job we feel we are doing, they see us, they hear us, and they get it….